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About Literature / Hobbyist EllieOther/Norway Recent Activity
Deviant for 5 Years
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Your nurse
I was willing to give up my happiness for you
To lead you down dark paths, holding your hand
I could have helped you recover from this nightmare you dreamt
But you couldn't tear your heart away
From this hurtful land
I was ready to put myself through misery for you
To torture myself just to see you smile
I tried to release you from the chains holding you down
But you weren't ready
To walk another mile
I tried to sew together your broken little heart
Licked your wounds and healed your scars
I tore down the wall and set you free
But you didn't even try
To reach for the stars
Even as I gave up my everything for you
You didn't put up a fight of your own
I shattered to pieces while I wiped away your tears
But your suicide note was written
In stone
:iconelliesuiya:EllieSuiya 6 1
What good is love when it hurts you so much?
What good is loving when it tears you apart?
What good is putting someone else first
When all they do is break your heart?
What good is laughing at things you don't find funny?
What good is crying when you're not really sad?
What good is pretending you're someone you're not
When it makes you angry when you shouldn't be mad?
What good is lying to feel like you're loved?
What good is doing things you don't want to do?
What good is putting up with all the pain in the world
When who you're doing it for doesn't see you for you?
:iconelliesuiya:EllieSuiya 2 1
Mature content
Tied :iconelliesuiya:EllieSuiya 5 2
Mature content
Revenge :iconelliesuiya:EllieSuiya 6 1
He's lost count of how many cigarettes he's smoked, how many he's crushed in the ashtray after only smoking half of it, how many he's simply lit and then discarded without taking more than a drag or two. But not to worry; he'll just make Rob pay for them.
Robert is fucking late and Dean's coffee is cold like a dead man's toe. And this his second one now. He should have asked for a beer instead, 'cause who the heck even drinks coffee in a pub? But he's tired, so tired, and all he wants is for Rob to come and take him home and drag him to bed because sometimes Dean is a child, even though he would never admit it.
Dean looks at his watch and frowns. He'll kill him. Robert is the reason Dean has wrinkles even though he should be too young to have any. And it's Rob's fault he's sitting there like an abandoned puppy, feeling stares boring into his back because surely nobody sits alone in a pub drinking coffee, but Dean is there and people are staring. He checks his phone for the umpteenth ti
:iconelliesuiya:EllieSuiya 4 0
Touch me, hold me, embrace me
I don't want you to ever let me go
Caress me, kiss me, fuck me
I'll be fine
So long as you just don't give up trying
I fell for you long ago
You must have realised
Because now here you are, in my bed, between my legs, tangling your fingers with mine and gazing at me
Reading me
Or attempting to, at least
I know you want to
But you're so scared
You're so scared that you'll fall for me as well
I understand you, and at the same time I don't understand you at all
You want to take, want to own, want to use
Want to drain me of everything I have
Just so you won't seem so small yourself
I'll put up with it
I'll carry you on a throne woven with insecurities just so I won't have to see you cry again
You're never good enough for yourself
You're never happy with yourself
Only I am
Only I think you're perfect
And when I tell you, you put up those walls again
Those walls I've tried to tear down countless times
You'll scream, cry, kick away at anyone who comes near you
:iconelliesuiya:EllieSuiya 6 1
My black soul is seeping of impure and sin
A head full of hay and a heart made of tin
I'm neither the black sheep nor demon tonight
I'm bad incarnated, the pure face of fright
The rules are for weaklings, I just make my own
I created my crown and I crafted my throne
I rule with a thirst for chaos and blood
Pushing others carelessly into the mud
Never regretting I keep committing crimes
Not looking back as the funeral bell chimes
I torture, rape, murder and break people's hearts
I put a quick ending to pure, fresh new starts
What matters is not where I go when I die
I never ask how, when, wherefore and why
I let nature take it's course, through life I plough
I live in the moment, I live in right now
:iconelliesuiya:EllieSuiya 8 3
Mature content
Storm :iconelliesuiya:EllieSuiya 0 0
Mature content
Death's Bath :iconelliesuiya:EllieSuiya 4 3
Mature content
Fantasy :iconelliesuiya:EllieSuiya 8 8
Chains of Love
I fell in love on a summer's day
With you, my beloved dear.
You told me you would always stay
But now you're no longer here.
You locked me in a cage and threw
The key far out at sea.
And then there was control-freak you
And robbed-of-freedom me.
How could I ever fall in love
With a selfish monster like you?
I wanted to be free like a dove
I thought you could make it come true
And so I came to loathe you, my dear
And I came to loathe myself too.
Because, even though I'm still waiting right here
You'll never be back, now, will you?
:iconelliesuiya:EllieSuiya 7 5
A Thousand Pieces
Broken to a thousand pieces,
I will cry forevermore.
Then one night when sleep can't reach me,
Suffering knocks on my door.
I grab a knife there on the table,
Slice, slice, slice, the blade cuts through
All my memories and sorrow
'Till my dreams and hopes come true.
Cut up in a thousand pieces,
I shall now cry nevermore.
One last tear falls down the cheek of
My corpse lying on the floor.
:iconelliesuiya:EllieSuiya 5 0
I can never say goodbye
Missing those times you would laugh and smile.
I hug my pillow and cry.
Missing your face that would light up my day.
I can never say goodbye.
I wish I could walk away from you.
From the memories hurting still.
I wish I could turn my back and run.
Escape of my own free will.
Why love someone who hurts me so?
I ask myself every day.
Without understanding, I crave for your touch
causing myself dismay.
If only I had the strength to stop,
To love someone else instead.
But my heart won't change, I love you still,
So my tears will drench my bed.
:iconelliesuiya:EllieSuiya 6 2
I want to hurt you, I want to break you.
You who hurt me so much.
Call me selfish,
But I can't bear to see you happy.
After all you did, after all you said.
I just want to tear you apart.
Let's play a game.
I'll try my best to ruin your life,
You'll pretend you don't care.
We'll see how far we can go before one of us breaks.
:iconelliesuiya:EllieSuiya 10 1
I can taste my heart on my lips.
Cold, bitter, sharp.
Like the edges of a mirror.
On my tongue.
Swirling around.
When did my heart end up in my mouth?
Oh right.
I puked out all my insides.
But my love for you was too big to fit through my mouth.
Ironic how the one thing that kills me everyday
Is the one thing I can't get out.
So I'll end up being choked by it.
And some random by-passer
Will find a corpse
Of an alien
With no guts
Who dreamt of a love
That ended up killing her.
:iconelliesuiya:EllieSuiya 9 3
You think it's easy.
You think it's easy to hurt you and move on.
You think I'm heartless.
I'm not.
Do you know how much it hurts me?
Do you know how broken I feel?
When you worry about me?
When I'm the one who's in pain, and you're the one who's sad?
When you shout at me.
When you yell at me.
For seconds.
And I know you're just mad because you care.
Because you love me.
Do you think it's easy?
To know I hurt you?
And just move on?
It's not.
Because as much as you hurt when I cry.
I hurt when you cry.
And when you cry because of me.
The pain doubles.
So don't ever tell me.
I'm inconsiderate.
Because it's so much easier to have you yell at me for breaking your vase
than breaking your heart.
:iconelliesuiya:EllieSuiya 6 1



I blame :iconwolfie-roukan:

The rules:

copy these rules in your journal
say ten things about yourself
answer the ten questions asked by the person who tagged you
think of  10 new questions
tag ten people (put in their icons)
tell them that they are tagged (not something like "you are tagged if you read this")

Ten tings about me:

1. I like blood.
2. I'm a Satanist.
3. I'm a Teen Werewolf ( :iconwolfie-roukan: is my alpha)
4. I can eat and eat until the end of time.
5. I'm gay.
6. I'm obsessed with the GazettE.
7. I study Japanese.
8. I can't draw. At all. Not even stickfigures.
9. I'm a gamer (WoW mostly).
10. I'm genderqueer.

Ten new questions?:
1. What do you usually do at school?
Mostly I just sit in the back of the class reading. On rare occasions, I pay attention to the teacher.

2. What do you do when you are home alone?
Gaming, listening to music, watching anime, Skype or something like that. Or write.

3. What would you do if you wake up and found out that the zombie apocalypse?
Barricade myself in my room and sit on the computer.

4. Which anime pet or animal would you have?

5. When was the last time you watched anime?
Too long ago.

6. Do you train, and if so what do you do?
I do train. I'm gonna train to Lillestrøm today. Chuu-chuu *imitates train whistle*

7. Are you being called weird?
I am weird. End of discussion.

8. What is the next con you going to?
Idefk. Probs desucon.

9. Which anime girl would you date?
Oh my that'll be a long list. Sangou Shizuku (Kämpfer), Sakura Kaede (Kämpfer), Akane Mishima (also Kämpfer) and Shura Kirigakure (Ao no Exorcist) to name a few... And yeah just about every single girl in the entire Kämpfer anime.

10. If you could live in an anime, which one?

Not tagging anyone because blah. Do if you want to.
  • Listening to: My girlfriend watching J-rock videos.
  • Reading: This text.
  • Watching: The words on my computer
  • Playing: Life.
  • Eating: Souls.


EllieSuiya's Profile Picture
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
Hi there ( ´ ▽ ` )

I'm Ellie ^^ Most people would describe me as crazy and/or mentally insane. My favourite hobbies are writing (poems, novellas and other kinds of fiction), listening to music, hugging, watching movies, anime, manga, TV-series, reading and working with HTML. I'm a huge fan of Japan, both culture, literature and music. My favourite band is the GazettE, but I love all kinds of Visual Kei.

I get inspiration very seldom, and when I do, my muses are bitches. Thus I don't suppose I'll be posting a lot... I write a lot of macabre stuff, with some love in between. I probably should warn you; if you can't stand self-harm, blood, death, homosexual love or polyamorous love I suggest you proceed with caution.

I am a Satanist, lesbian and supportive of LGBT rights. If you're homophobic, kindly GTFO.

Feel free to send me a message about anything you'd like. I don't bite (much)...

I support


Add a Comment:
Wolfie-Roukan Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Student Digital Artist
You got tagged x3 : [link]
EllieSuiya Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Too lazy to make a long post so...

1. What is your fave anime/manga? :3
fiubhaiudbidsnjbsndfjbndsbndkjsnfbfd hard to choose... Ao no Exorcist, Kämpfer or Fairy Tail, I think...

2. What kind of music to you listen to? >:3
the GazettE, Visual Kei, the GazettE, Jrock, the GazettE, Black Metal, the GazettE, Death Metal, the GazettE, Screamo, the GazettE, some industrial, the GazettE, hard rock, the GazettE, some classical music and the GazettE.

3. Do you cosplay? @w@
HAH. Only once...
Yeah, no, it's too expensive and I can't sew for the life of me so nope.

4. If you cosplay, who, in your option, is your best cosplay? :3
If I was supposed to say someone that would fit me based on my looks, probably Sangou Shizuku (from Kämpfer).

5. What country are you from? >w>
The land of Gay.

6. If you could cosplay any character on the world and get everything for free, who would it be? =w=
Ruki <u<

7. Do you have an anime/manga crush? >w<
Sangou Shizuku hurrdurr~

8. Do you play any kinds of game? ^^

9. Do you go to school? >:3 x3

10. As final.... >w> what do you think about some of my cosplays/drawings? x3
Awesome, all of it! 8D
Wolfie-Roukan Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2013  Student Digital Artist
It's okay :3
>w< Thanks :tighthug:
Wolfie-Roukan Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Student Digital Artist

Spread the DA love around! (you can copy and paste this message on their userpage!)

1- You can hug the person who hugged you!
2- You -MUST- hug 6 other people, at least!
3- You should hug them in public! Paste it on their page!
4- Random hugs are perfectly okay! (and sweet)
5- You should most definitely get started hugging right away!

Send This To All Your Friends, And Me If I Am 1.
If You Get 7 Back You Are Loved!

1-3 you're bad friend
4-6 you're an ok friend
7-9 you're a good friend
10-& Up you're a great friend
c1oud9 Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you kindly for the favorite :D
MantlegenG Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Impressive texts and poems, I'm looking foward to read some more. You put alot of details and emotion in, and since your not a "girly girly" but someone madly insane, I totally respect you and love your work. Keep on going!
EllieSuiya Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much, I'm really honoured to hear that. I, too, get irritated when there's too much girly and pink poems out there...
MantlegenG Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm gladly happy that there other people have same taste as me and Teck about hating kawaii shit and such. At least, you seem to be yourself 100% of time, no much people are able to be like that so there no wonder I already respect you. But you know after all they are just everywhere...Those sl...The worse is we can't do a thing then watching them and trying to put some black at those awful lame creation. But oh well...Better much forget, avoid and staying at our own environment.
Wolfie-Roukan Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2012  Student Digital Artist
([link]) =w=
th3writer Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2012
Just watched you! You're amazing at poetry.
Mind checking out some of mine when you get the chance? (:
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